At secondary school my growing interest in the sciences resulted in my reading books, which invariably propounded a different theory of origin for the universe to the one I had been brought up to accept. It wasn't so much that these books were presenting any evidence as such for evolutionary theory and the big bang, but that the doctrine was implyed by the terminology employed. It was as though these ideas were like fundamental axioms upon which any understanding of Physics or Biology must inevitably rest. As I was in a formative stage of my mental development, I began to assimmilate some of these ideas into my way of thinking, while at the same time searching for possible alternatives which would be more in line with my theocentric world-view. I was not satisfied with many of the alternatives which I came up with. It seemed that the offending theories offered the most elegant ways of explaining observable phenomena and they seemed to provide answers for everything, whereas the biblical account of things appeared to be less robust when it came to critical examination. Many of my teachers at school, some of whom professed Christianity and one or two who did not also affirmed evolution as a fact, or at least as something of which we could be pretty certain. I was a bit of a loner at school and I did not get involved much in the school C.U. so I was not able to discuss these issues with others to see what answers they had arrived at. Neither did I know anyone in my Church or among my family who I had sufficient confidence to share my doubts with, or who possessed much scientific knowledge. So I had to confront these issues on my own.
I have to admit that there were certain questions that I was afraid to ask, in case I was unable to find an answer within the faith I had grown up with from a child. On two occasions during my time at school I suffered from very severe depression where these internal conflicts played heavily on my mind, though they were by no means the sum of my worries. However, gradually things began to sort themselves out in my mind and I realised that the bible was not so easy to contradict and in many cases were it could be tested it had proved completely reliable. I also realised that evolution did not really have everything sown up quite so well as certain people would like to make out. (I was never under any illusions that the biblical account of creation could be reconciled to the popular scientific theory of how life originated. To my mind, the biblical understanding of such concepts as sin, death and God's perfect creation precluded this possibility, no matter how loosely one chose to interpret scripture (and I have usually interpreted it fairly literally).)
I realised that not only is evolution hard pushed to explain certain common natural phemonon like the development of organisms with a multi-staged life cycle like the butterfly, but also that there is currently no satisfactory scientific explanation for the emergance of the first primative life forms from the primeval soup of organic chemicals supposedly existing in the world's oceans a few billion years ago. It became clear to me that many people accept evolution simply because they have been taught that this is how it happened, by people who were supposed to know. A lot of other people have accepted evolution because it seems the only rational way to explain life as we know it. For as soon as one brings God into the picture one immediately introduces something which science cannot quantify or explain, and since science is about finding explanations this seems an irrational thing to do. So they cling on to their precious theory in the hope that the difficulties will soon be ironed out. I have since learned not to be afraid to question what I believe, for the bible instructs us to 'buy the truth and sell it not', but it is also good to be wary of being deceived by cunning arguments and of being pressured to accept the popular view (whether it is one held by religious or by non-religious people).
I also experienced God at work in my own life, answering my prayers, and taking care of me in my times of difficulty. I heard powerful testimonies of how God had provided for members of my family and my church when they were in need and I read amazing accounts of his power to transform lives in Christian autobiographies. The bible itself seems to address the most fundamental needs of the human race in a way that no other book does and the message of Christianity - that God has reached down to humankind who were too weak and sinful to reach a holy God by their own efforts makes it distinct from all of the other world religions. I have since studied quite a number of religions and have become convinced of the truth of this observation. The precepts of the Old Testament and the teachings of Jesus are just as radical today as they were when they were first given and having found from experience that the instructions of the bible are sound practical advice, I am convinced that the bible is a revelation of God's will for our lives and is superior to the wisdom our supposedly enlightened society has to offer. All these things and others have convinced me that there is a God in control of the universe with a personal concern with all of our lives and who has ultimately revealed his love to us through his son Jesus Christ.
At university I decided that the time had come for me to get involved with other Christian young people and in being active for God. I joined the Christian Union at Warwick and was blessed by the fellowship and by the level of spirituality among the other Christians. I became involved in running a Just Looking group and in helping to coordinate the Just Looking training sessions. (Just Looking is an evangelistic course which takes place in small groups run by one or two Christians and their non-Christian friends, and gives people the chance to find out about Christianity and ask questions. It introduces them to the basics of the gospel through looking at the a number of events in the life of Jesus.). I also became involved with the Christian action society and with the C.U. work among international students. Looking back I think I grew a lot during this time at university and I became more confident about sharing my faith with others.
Well that is a very sketchy idea of my Christian experience, but I hope that I will add to it over time. I hope to include a section dealing with difficult questions that I have had to confront and a section on some doctrinal issues, but this will probably take time.